Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Special Feature On Buffy The Vampire Slayer



QUOTES

"She's the gnat in my ear. The gristle in my teeth. She's the bloody thorn in my bloody side!"-Spike, on Buffy
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Buffy:" I wasn't gonna use violence. I don't always use violence, do I?"
Xander:"The important thing is, you believe in that."
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"Now, we can do this the hard way, or.... well, actually, There's just the hard way."-Buffy
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"I've had it. Spike is going down. You can attack, you can send assassins after me.... that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend." -Buffy
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Buffy:"I kill vampires. That's my job."
Giles:"True, althought you don't usually beat them onto quite such a bloody pulp beforehand."
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Giles:"Let's not jump to any conclusions."
Buffy:"I didn't jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were."
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"The Master. I went past his grave last night and they have a vacancy."-Buffy
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Joyce:"Are you going out tonight, honey?"
Buffy:"Yeah, Mom, I'm going to a club."
Joyce:"Will there be boys there?"
Buffy:"No, Mom, it's a nun club."
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"Giles, CARE. I'm putting my life on the line, battling the undead! Look, I broke a nail, okay? I'm wearing a press on. The least you could do is exhibit some casual interest. You could go "hmmm"." -Buffy
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"You won't tell anyone that I'm the Slayer, and I won't tell anyone that you are a moron."- Buffy to Cordelia
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" When he wakes up, tell him....I don't know. Think of something cool; tell him I said it."-Buffy, after knocking Giles out to save his life.
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Buffy:"Willow, grow up. Not everything is about kissing."
Xander:"Yeah. Some stuff is about groping."
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Buffy:"There's something supernatural at work. Get your books. Look stuff up!"
Willow (to Giles):"What are you going to do?"
Giles:"Get my books. Look stuff up."
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Cordelia:"What?"
Giles:"I'm sorry....your hair."
Cordelia:"There's something wrong with my hair? Oh, my God."[she exits]
Giles:"Xander was right. It worked like a charm."
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Xander:"Giles lived for school. He's still bitter there were only twelve grades."
Buffy:"He probably sat in math calss thinking, "There should be more math! This could be mathier.""
Willow:"Come on. You don't think he ever got restless as a kid?"
Buffy:"Are you kidding? His diapers were tweed."
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Buffy:"I was a little sloppy on the roundhouse kick. You want me to try it again? "
Giles:"No, that's fine. You run along to class and I'll wait for the feeling to return to my arms."
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Willow entering Buffy's ward and dumping a stack of homework on her.
Buffy:"Homework.'
Willow:"It's my way of saying, 'Get well soon'."
BUffy:"You know, chocolate says that even better."
Willow:"I did all your assignments. All you need to do is to sign your name."
Buffy (awestruck) :"Chocolate means nothing to me."
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by Duck medium, an Axe-clusive interview with Buffy the vampire slayer


Tips on Vampire Slaying 

TIP 1
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vampire sensing ability is crucial. But fashion sense can compensate for the lack of that ability

Giles:"can you tell me if there's a vampire in this building?"
Buffy:"maybe?"
Giles:"you should know! Even through this mass and this din you should be able to sense them. Try. Reach out with your mind. You have to hone your senses, focus until the energy washes over you, till you can feel every particle of-"
Buffy:"There's one."
Giles:" What? Where?"
Buffy:"Down there.Talking to that girl."
Giles:"But you don't know..."
Buffy:"Oh, please. Look at his jacket. he's got the sleeves rolled up. And the shirt ... deal with that outfit for a moment."
Giles:"It's dated?"
Buffy:"It's carbon-dated! Trust me: only someone who's been living underground for ten years would think that was the look."
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TIP 2
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The ability to improvish youself will save your life time and again.

"There was this time I was pinned down by this guy that played left tackle for varsity....Well, at least he used to before he was a vampire. Anyway, He's got one of those really thick necks and all I've got is a little Exacto knife...." -Buffy
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TIP 3
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Never be restricted by stick-in-the-mud traditions. Lest you expire before your time.

Giles:"Kendra. There are a few people- civilians if you like- who knows Buffy's identity. Willow is one of them. And they also spend time together. Socially."
Kenra:"And you allow this, sir?"
Giles:"Well...."
Kendra:"But the Slayer must work in secret. For security."
Giles:"Of course. With Buffy, it's....some flexibility is required."
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TIP 4
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Some things are really not essential to your survival. For instance, the Slayer Handbook.

Giles: You see, Spike has also called out the Order of Taraka to keep Buffy out of the way.

Kendra: The assassins? I read of them in the Writings of Dramius.
Giles: Really? Which volume?

Kendra: I believe it was six, sir.

Buffy (to Kendra): How to you know all these?

Kendra: From my studies.

Buffy: So, you obviously have a lot of free time.

Kendra: I studied because it is required. The Slayer handbook insists on it.

Willow: There’s a Slayer handbook?

Buffy: Handbook? What handbook? How come I don’t have a handbook ?
Willow:  Is there a T-shirt, too? ‘Cause that would be cool.

Giles: After meeting you Buffy, I was quite sure the handbook would be of no use in your case.

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Tip 5
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Unpredictability is much needed for you to maintain your sanity.

Joyce: A little responsibility, Buffy, that's all I ask. Honestly, don't you ever think about anything besides boys and clothes?"
Buffy:"Saving the world from vampires."
Joyce:"I swear, sometimes I don't know what goes on inyour head."
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note: Buffy is the Slayer. Willow is buffy's best friend.Joyce is buffy's mom. Giles is Buffy's Watcher. Spike is the big bad vampire. Kendra is the slayer activated when buffy drowned for a minute.
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THE SLAYER HANDBOOK
-according to Buffy Summers-
Rule one
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Walk tough. Talk tough. Be tough.
" I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Buffy and you're ....history."
"I've lost friends tonight, and I may lose more. If you have information worth hearing then i am grateful for it. If you want to make jokes then I will pull out your ribcage and wear it as a hat."
-Buffy, to Spike
rule two
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Provide whatever assistance you can, but know yor strengths and weaknesses.
Xander: "So. Okay. Get started, Buffy. Dissect it or something."
Buffy: "Dissect it? Why me?"
Xander: "Because you are the Slayer."
Buffy: "And I slayed. My work here is done"
rule three
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Be properly respectful about your callings and its traditions
"Sacred duty, yadda, yadda, yadda."
rule four
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Keep your cool. Don't let little things like homicidal boyfriends distract you.
"Can you vague that up for me?"- Buffy
rule five
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Don't be fooled by a lull inSlayage. Stake all you want, they'll make more.
"Just because the paranormal has been more normal and less.... para lately, is no excuse for tardiness or letting your guard down." - Giles
rule six
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Seek a proper balance in your life.
"Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time!"- Giles
rule seven
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Be vigilant in regard to personal morale.
"A hungry Slayer is a cranky Slayer. A cranky Slayer is a careless Slayer. And a cranky Slayer is a dead Slayer."-Buffy
rule eight
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Personal appearance is important in making a good first impression.
Xander:"Is she gonna be okay?"[re: an electrocuted Buffy]
Giles:"She was only grounded for a moment.[then to Buffy]Still, if you'd been anyone but the Slayer...."
Buffy:"Tell me the truth. How's my hair?"
Xander:"It's great. It's your best hair ever."
Giles:"Oh, yes."
rule nine
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When faced with the unknown, go with your instincts.
Xander:"You don't know how to kill this thing."
Buffy:"I thought i might try violence."
Xander:"Solid call."
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by duck medium, an axe-culsive interview with buffy the vampire slayer

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