Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Duck Medium's wisdom

Here are some quotes sent to me by some good friends of mine in college. These little bits of wisdom had helped me through my most peaceful times by inviting trouble. I really never knew such knowledge ever exist! Had I been aware of them much earlier, my life will naow be full of blissful chaos, beautiful mayhem, comforting paranoia and soothing pandemonium. Enjoy!!
  • Arguing with your Boss is like wrestling with a pig in mud. After a while you realize that while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it.
  • Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
  • Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
  • It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.
  • Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised.
  • Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.
  • Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
  • Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
  • I'm not a complete idiot, there're still some parts missing!
  • Forgive your enemies but remember their names
  • The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
  • I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. * He said he wanted more proof.
  • Some pain is physical and some is mental, but one that's both is dental.
  • Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome
  • For the husband who snores all night, because he is at home asleep with me and not with someone else.
  • For my teenage daughter who is complaining about doing dishes, because that means she is at home & not on the streets.
  • For the taxes that I pay because it means that I am employed.
  • For the mess to clean after a party because it means that I have been surrounded by friends.
  • For the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.
  • For my shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.
  • For a floor that needs mopping, and windows that need cleaning because it means I have a home.
  • For all the complaining I hear about the government because itmeans that we have freedom of speech.
  • For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation.
  • For the noise I have to bear from my neighbours because it means that I can hear.
  • For the pile of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear.
  • For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been capable of working hard.
  • For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I am stilll alive.
------by Duck Medium

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