Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Critters Cuisine


Lately, there is no new dishes of Critters Crusine being invented as the Critter Connoisseur itself got banned from human contact by its lady boss and landlady, Princess Mutabak. In order not to dissapoint and boil..oops...i mean bore its customers and patrons with the same old menu, the Connoisseur have finally taken a greater step to invent more stomach-turning dishes. By venturing into the imperial sewers, gallows, torture chamber and rubbish dump, new ingredients are available for Whiskie to whip up new Crusines!
Sewers Smoothie

mainly made of iced sewer waters, mixed with a little toilet water and rain water for a refreshing effect. The mixture is then added to sewer slime, rat and cockroach and then blended together to create a thick greenish-brown stuff with the attractive stench of the sewers.
pay extra $0.50 to top your smoothie with Madame Butterfly's buttered flies.
Plain Smoothie will only have iced sewer water, toilet water, rain water and drain water without any extra ingredients. (for vegetarians and monks)

small--$1.90 medium--$2.60 large--$3.50
Nezumi Tiramisu --$6.50

Hamsters, rats, guinea pig and squirrels are nicely beheaded and blended together with plenty of diabetic sugar, sugar cane and rock sugar. The other ingredients are fermented flour, fungus, algae and slime are specially prepared with a secret receipe then baked to a slimy jelliness and left to cool and decompose futhur to bring out the taste. After which the blended rodent mixture is applied and the whole product is kept in liquid nitrogen to keep houseflies and other pest away and to maintain the product's freshness.
Yummy Olde' Field --$8.30

Serpents and rats freshly caught by the Critter Connoisseur itself to ensure high quality of the product. They are then diced and stir fried with nightshade and venus flytrap in date expired soya sauce and rotten oyster sauce. The dish is then completed with a dash of roasted piranha brains and thick BBQed Ticks n Lice sauce.
Milistone Soup --$54.20

Millipedes and centipedes which are freshly imported from Allopia and Bala Stella, are finely chopped to even pieces and are soaked in drain water overnight to absorb its essence. They are then stewed in sewer and rain water broth , which was secretly concocted by the Critter itself in the dead of the night to prevent its secret from leaking out, together with 8 types of critters and 5 kind of plants and 3 type of spices. This mysterious soup have a clear sick-green colour with tasty chunks of flies, wilted plants and bloated pieces of mili n centipede. YUM!
Buddha Crash into the Wall--$346.98
A popular dish amongst the people of Freaktopia who are celebrating New Year. This expensive dish is make from the best and freshest ingredients money cannot buy. The Mangosteen Buddhas, in the Mutabak Palace Garden are harvested once a year, are flung onto walls to pulverise them. The crushed fruits are then feed to the houseflies and maggots to speed up the decomposition rate and also to obtain the delicious saliva of housefly and maggots. The rotten fruits, together with cockroaches, houseflies, maggots, rodents, snakes, termites and lizards are stewed in bird flu infected crow's blood, panadol, laxatives and cough syrup.
by duck medium

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