ANNOUNCEMENTS
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This
afternoon, all gym lessons will be cancelled due to extreme dead guy in the
locker.
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Whoever
had stolen the school's mascot, Count Bunnicula, is to return it by dawn or
risk both holiday in the torture chambers and capital punishment.
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Swim Team,
please note that practice for this afternoon will be cancelled as the Biology
students will be releasing their newly created Mutant Piranhas. Swim at your
own risk.
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All
students are once again reminded by the long-winded Principal Sushi Ho that you
are allowed to use desks, chairs, window panes and other classroom furniture if
you are fighting. All damages will be paid by the Ministry of Education.
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Fourth
year students going to University of Everything are not allowed to venture
outside the school compounds without a spacesuit or risk suffocation or simply
be sucked out to the nearest black hole. Students are also to stay clear of the
Labs and Gardens, or lose both limbs and life.
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Students
taking Ritualogy are to collect your corpses from the school's morgue. You are
not allowed to reanimate your dead bodies in case they are infected with mad
corpse disease.
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The Chinology
Students will be performing a funeral funds raising concert this evening in LT
5, a $500 admission will be charged. They will be performing the Heart Sutra
(Kwan Yin Remix), Diamond Sutra (hard rock version) and The Funeral March
(techno).
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The
mirrors in all the bathrooms are installed with time bombs. This is to deter Ah
lians, Ah Bengs and other vainpots and peacocks from hogging the mirrors. The
mirrors will explode 5 minutes after viewing and the shards will fly and embed
themseles in the flesh of the viewer, so as to futhur enhance their exterior
beauty. Passerbys and innocents hurt in the process will not be insured by Lau
Sai Insurance as their policy do not cover:"being in the wrong place at
the wrong time" as well as "stupid enough not to scram from obvious
catastrophes".
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Mr
Swimming Instructor, you are not allowed to hang your students in the desert to
dry after swimming lessons. Any students combusting spontaneously will be all
your fault. you will be expected to pay the bill!
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From 1
Feburary 2006, there will be electricity and water rationing on every monday
afternoon 2 pm to 4 pm, as anyone want to use the electric furnitures or water
chambers are free to do so without causing the school to have power failures or
water shortages.
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Teachers
are warned not to provoke students in the Advanced Psychology Faculty as any
slight irritation will result in huge bloodshed, gore and multiple deaths.
Provocations are to be done at your leisure time at desserted corridors to
minimise damage and insurance costs.
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Lately
there is someone or something that had been breaking into students dorms and
taking their nude photos. Sushi Ho suspect it is some Criminology Students
doing some last minute blackmailing assignments. She is warning that any
lateness in handing up assignments will result in detention with Miss French,
the She-Mantis, or cleaning Bunnicula's cage.
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The
school's Choir is looking for students who can produce glass-shattering High
C's or able to produce hypnotic Siren effects to join the SYF competition.
Banshee screech, Witch cackle or Mad Scientist Laughter are also in demand.
Sign up now or regret a life time!
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By Duck
Medium
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