Due to too many of our Freaksimes reporters, journalists and correspondents mysteriously disappearing permanently, dying all over the place, becoming permanently incapacitated and held hostage by the Mafia and Al Thosai Organisation, Freakstimes is becoming severely understaffed. Our Chief Editors such as Urban Geek, Duck Medium aka Kaypoberry, Princess Mutabak, Immortal SSW and Biohazard Scientist have to risk their limbs, sanity and lives to dig out the news for our deplorably ignorant and chronically insatiable readers.
To those who do not know what is ABC and scored remarkable straight Fs, the Freakstimes wants you! As long as you are allergic to words and alphabets, you are our ideal candidate. On-the-job training will be provided to increase your non-existent chance of survival in Freaktopia. Applicants are highly encouraged to draw up their last will and testament with our incompetent and corrupt lawyers. Join us and begin your career in literary vilification and fanning the flames of international and inter-dimensional warfare and conflict.
Minimum requirement: must know basic Hokkien vulgarities.
The Freakstimes Pledge
We, the writers of Freakstimes
Poise ourselves as one freakish publication
Regardless of Mutabak, Prata or Other Realm, to churn out news like there is no tomorrow
Based on blackmailing and highly fertile imagination
So as to achieve panic, social irresponsibility and chaos for Freaktopia.