Friday, January 22, 2010


Mati (somewhere in an ulu corner of Freaktopia) - Due to the recent earthquake that struck the poverty-stricken island of Mati (due to the Leech floating nearby the unfortunate island as its ship sunk into a whirlpool), the citizens are literally dying of grievious injuries, thirst and hunger.

Several nations such as the Disunited Kingdoms, Mutabak Kingdom, The United Emirates of Indian Cuisine Nations and the Very United Nations are rendering aid in the form of cash, food, water, medicine and security.

However, the chaotic situation in Mati have escalated to a hopelessly catastrophic level as the desperately hungry quake victims have resorted to eating the Dhal soldiers who were doing their best to promote looting and all other assorted crimes.

As food supplies proceeded to trickle into Mati like a blocked sewage pipe, the starving citizens began to suffer from See-Food syndrome due to extreme hunger and long-term suppression of the urge to munch on every Mutabak, Prata, Dhal and other Indian Cuisine Soldiers roaming the streets. Dr Muttonbak Pilo was eaten alive while examining a Mati citizen, who was rescued from a collapsed toilet.

“The situation is very dangerous and chaotic! We really want to help the Matis but unable to do so if they keep on trying to eat us!” screamed a fellow Very United Nations volunteer who was being ripped from crust to crust by a toothpick-thin teenager.

Barracks Osama, President of the Disunited States of America, have requested the help of the Duck Medium and Summoner Geek to perform the Sending of the deceased. The Nekomancer was knocked out by a blast from a nearby suicide Thosai bomber while chanting the sutras to prevent the outbreak of Mad Corpse Disease. Princess Mutabak suspected it is the work of the notorious Al Thosai Organisation. The Freaktopian Defense Ministry has mobilised its National Cadet Corpse to plough through the wreckage for leftovers and carcasses.

- Reported ‘Live’ by Ms Mai Cow Peh

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