Monday, January 4, 2010

The Noway Journals Top News

Noway (North of Freaktopia) – Last Thristday, the sub-zero country of Noway experienced a strange phenomenon of Curry rain, which appeared to be rather entertaining at first as the cheapo citizens tried to pack as many barrels of curry in a cheaporella attempt to sell these precious and spicy liquids to the United Emirates of Indian Cuisine Nations.

However, the situation soon graduated from interesting to catastrophic as Noway continue to rain curry heavily as if there is no tomorrow. In no time, Noway is flooded with curry as high as 10 metres.

“The flooding is expected to worsen as the monsoon season is approaching tomorrow,” said a Nowayian Meteorological Agency scientist. The weather station showed reports of impending tsunamic weather and touring Mutabaks and Pratas are advised to get the hell out of boiling reservoir of curry as soon as possible to avoid being disintegrated by the torrential gravy. But due to the extremely bad weather, foreign Mutabaks and Pratas are stranded as the Royal Holy Mutabak Embassy is buried under 9000 feet of mutton curry.


Meanwhile, Suayden, Noway’s neighbouring country, is experiencing heavy downpours of safari animals such as elephants and rhinoceros. After 2 minutes of the ‘heavy’ rain, the country reported a death toll of 3.2 million (where 5% are the Suayden’s ministers, politicians and ruler).

“It is no wonder that so many got crushed to death under a falling elephant. Who ask them to be so…,” said a Suayden citizen before he, and a Freakstimes reporter, was pulverised under a shower of elephants, rhinos and a few other assorted animals like lions, hippos and a blue whale.

Scientists at the Mount Ro University’s Department of Catastrophic Weather speculated that maybe a science experiment of the Immortal SSW has gone wrong and is currently wreaking havoc all over the place.


- Reported by Miss Mee Pok

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