Friday, January 8, 2010

Allopia Spy School Announces New Major

Forensic Prataology

Entry Requirements: Allopia Spy School Diploma (GPA of S-rank in all subjects)

A-Levels (must achieve 15 points), where A=5, B=4, C=3, D=2, E=1

Award: Honours Degree in Forensic Pratatology (awarded by the Royal University of Urban Mutabak)

Course description:

Here, in the prestigious department of Forensic Prataology, students will be studying subjects from a wide range of scientific and culinary fields, to gain a deeper and tasteful insight into the anatomy of Pratas, Thosais, Mutabaks, Puffs and all other culinary citizens that are covered in a layer of oily and crispy skin or crust.

Semester modules

1. Dissection and Restoration

Students will definitely need to be trained in the crucial skill of dissection as they need to open up dead cuisines to identify the victim (as they often turn up too badly mangled and masticated to be recognised) and cause of death. Based on the condition of the carcass, different blades have to be used to attain efficiency and effectiveness in the process so as not to destroy any lingering evidence. For example, a frozen Curry Puff has to sawed open using a Maureen Saw MK-II.

Besides dissecting, Prataologists have to be equally adept at patching up their leftovers on the chopping board. Demonically-tough training in Dough-moulding, Crust Restoration and Skin-sewing will simply drive students to their premature insanity or expiry.


A. Cuisines may sometime turn up at the laboratory half-dead. It is the student’s job to finish up the leftovers.

B. When handling expired cuisines, please have a shotgun or flamethrower nearby. Expired cuisines have the tendency to exhibit some Silent Hill characteristic. In that situation, please panic.

C. The school will not be responsible for any insanity, permanent incapacitation, deaths and disappearances. Students apply at their own risk.

2. Toxicology : Practical Approach and Application

During the 1 year course in Toxicology, students will be versed in all kinds of poisons and toxins which are capable of killing a Mutabak or Prata. Experiments are conducted in a lab with fresh death-row prisoners being imported into the campus daily. Practicing in a torture chamber (sponsored by the Duck Medium), students can get to witness the dreadful results of Mutabaks soaked in water, Pratas disintegrating in curry and Thosais being burnt into unrecognisable crisps by Thai Chilli Sauces.


A. “F” grade will be given to students who fail to put at least 1000 death-row inmates out of their misery by the end of the module. “A” will be given to those who killed at least a Leech or a member of the TFM sect.

B. Students are required to be creative in killing off their subjects. This will allow them to fully appreciate and remember the knowledge taught to them.

C. Outstanding students will be suspected as Al Thosai terrorists. Score at your own risk.

Reported by: Duck Medium

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