Porfessionalism Course P1101
It's been said that the working world is like a jungle, where there's no one you can trust and everyone else to be wary of. People like your boss exist to make your life hell, while your coworkers whom you thought you can trust are actually sneaky backstabbers who will not hesitate to use you as a stepping stone to climb up the corporate ladder. Even the office tea lady isn't as harmless as you would think. She's actually a spy hired by your boss to keep a watch on the unknowing employees.
The corporate world is no playground for the innocent souls. To get ahead in life and to achieve the material success as defined and promoted by our capitalist society, maneuvering through this jungle is the only path. You either come out richer and wiser or beaten and wretched. For the uninitiated, this course will teach you how to survive in such a hostile and treacherous environment. You will learn to "smoke" your way to the top. You will learn the most important skill you'll need at the workplace - Porfessionalism. How else did you think your quarter-brained superior managed to climb above you?
"Por" is a Hokkien term literally meaning "to carry". An act of sycophancy. Buttering someone up, or brown-nosing.
In a survey of 10 million Freaktopian employees, it was found that the majority of them (99.9%) named Porfessionalism as the most crucial skill to help one get promoted. Career expert Miss Lao Kay Poh from the Allopia Spy School Career Counseling Centre advised fresh graduates to pick up Porfessionalism because it is so relevant and essential to achieving success in the working world today. "Don't think of leaving school without knowing a thing or two about Porfessionalism! Apply for the Porfessionalism Course at Allopia Spy School now!"
Indeed this new course which was recently introduced by ASS aims to equip students with the essential knowledge and practical skills of Porfessionalism to help them achieve a smooth and successful career in the perilous terrain of the business world. This course will be taught by Prof Sibeh Nabeh who has accumulated over 50 years of experience in Porfessionalism throughout his time in the corporate world.
Week 1: Introduction to Porfessionalism
Week 2: Theories of Porfessionalism
Week 3: Porfessionalism Strategies and Tactics 1
Week 4: Porfessionalism Strategies and Tactics 2
Week 5: Top Porfessionals in History - Guest Lecture by retired Porfessionalism Expert Mr. Kana Sai from Japan
Week 6: Practical in Porfessionalism 1 - Practise Porfessionalism on your coursemates
Week 7: Practical in Porfessionalsim 2 - Practise Porfessionalism on your schoolmates and other lecturers
Week 8: Industry attachment - Project: Por your way to get a promotion within 3 days
Week 9: Industry attachment - Project: Por your way to get a selected coworker fired within 2 days
Week 10: Industry attachment - Project: Por your way to get climb above your boss within 3 days
Week 11: Final Exam
Week 12: Award Ceremony for Top Porfessional in the course - The winner gets a full refund of the course fee!
Course fee: $1 million (small cost compared to your gains in the working world lah!)
Contact: Call 1900-123-4567 to book your place now!!!
Reported by: Urban Geek