Wednesday, October 7, 2009


Freaktopia will be experiencing global microwaving for the next few weeks and all are to be mentally and physically prepared as the weather will become hot like hell.

Freaktopians are advised to carry a fire extinguisher with them 24/7, in case they spontaneously combust. Avoid swimming unless you want to be boiled to death like seafood in a steamboat. Direct exposure to sunlight will cause instantaneous incineration, hence please avoid going outdoors. According to the Biohazard Scientist, sun block will only cause a person to slowly sublime instead of combusting or incinerating.

Heat stroke patients are to soak themselves in liquid nitrogen to cool themselves down. If the condition persists, please consult your family undertaker. Lighter condition of heatstroke will only result in the patient shriveling up like a preserved prune. No big deal.

Citizens are advised to place themselves on intravenous drips to replenish the water lost to the insanely hot weather. Incineration and combustion victims will receive 40% discount and their family members will each receive a roll of limited edition Ang Chin Moh Funeral Home toilet paper to cry with.

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