Wednesday, October 7, 2009

NEWS FLASH

WHERE NEWS APPEAR LIKE A FLASH IN THE PAN



Lately, a high-security criminal had broken out of the Freaktopian Murtabak Prison and is suspected to be existing somewhere in Freaktopia. The criminal is a white bunny with ultra long floppy ears and has conjunctivitis (red eyes). The felon also has an insatiable appetite for plant juice and is extremely ill-tempered.


The Bunnicula’s favorite haunts are places where there is an abundant supply of fruits and vegetables like farms, plantations and tropical rainforests. It may also try to sneak into Buddhist temples in a desperate attempt to sponge off free vegetarian meals.

In 2BC, the Bunnicula alone sucked every single shred of vegetation on Freaktopia to death, causing the Freaktopian economy to rocket head first into irrecoverable devastation, resulting in global bankruptcy and everlasting poverty. Due to the extinction of plant kind; vegetarians, monks and herbivores were all dropping dead left and right. The death toll for this vegetative catastrophe resulted in the total population of Freaktopia to plummet by 30.72145987645%.
Bunnicula was finally apprehended in 21BC in a coconut plantation, where it was trying to dislodge all the coconuts from a particularly stubborn tree by blasting it with dynamite, until the irritated tree decided to make the determined bunny take a nap by releasing a rather huge and heavy fruit on its unfortunate head, rendering the bunny unconscious (comatose) for several decades*.

The public is advised against capturing the Bunnicula on their own as the criminal is highly dangerous and may cause fatal vegetative damage if provoked. It is also armed with a pair of sub-automatic carrot sticks.

The Bunnicula can be easily differentiated from normal and abnormal bunnies, as it stands and walks on two legs. In addition, it possesses a pair of bunny vampire fangs that enables it to suck any plant dry like dust.

Although Bunnicula is a vampire rabbit, it is however, immune to holy water, sunlight, crucifixes, Bibles and stakes. Garlic will only drive it berserk, causing the Bunnicula to start attacking plants very viciously until no greens are left in the immediate vicinity.

The government advises every citizen to safeguard their plants and vegetables with constant vigilance and report any loss of vegetative stock or mysterious piles of dust that resemble the shapes of vegetables.

S.P.C.A HOTLINE :
1800-911-911

Vegetable Wholesaler :
66155102

Note: please do not call the police as we deal only in humanoid criminals and the SPCA will handle the rest. Anyone caught harboring the Bunnicula will be thrown into detention class for 5
periods, given 5 strokes of the ruler and placed on a seafood diet for 10 years until the accomplice dies from hepatitis.


REWARD
1 YEAR SUPPLY OF EXPIRED MOULDY DOG FOOD + SIGNED AUTOGRAPH OF
BUNNICULA


Apparently, the many years of sleep had not improve its temper and caused the badly concussed Bunnicula to wake up with a splitting headache and a bruise the size of Kansas.


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