Sunday, February 7, 2010

NEWS FLASH - New Product!

Essence of Vishnu

The Essence of Vishnu, the latest addition to Homo Boss’s Essence series of perfumes, has just been released into the market like plague. According to Homo Boss, the Essence of Vishnu is by far the easiest to produce as all he needs to do is just kidnap BHSS’s Vishnu and boil him in a vat of tar, petroleum, gasoline, kerosene, black Nippon Paint, black hair dye, black eyeliner and black underwear until sick-green effervescence is released which sets litmus paper on fire.

A secret family recipe consisting of Duck Matter, leftover National Cadet Corpse, SSW oxide, Nitrous Mutabak and liquefied Maureen Saw MK-II, is used to concoct a noxious mixture that will cause Hercules to shriek like a school girl. The mixture is then added to the earlier compound to obtain a black isolated Essence that smells strongly of phlegm, vomit and decaying diarrhoea.

This essence of Vishnu will grant the user the ability to irritate those around him/her/it to their premature death. The annoying ability is rumoured to be on par with Princess Mutabak’s annoying royal canine, Whisky.

Directions: use once a day. The combined use of Essence of Vishnu with Essence of Saint Pra will cause the user to exhibit Exorcist-like characteristic such as 360° head twisting and projectile vomiting. Do not use the entire bottle at once. Side effects of overdose are unknown. Use at your own risk.

Caution: keep within reach of elderly, children and other spastic living organisms in your home.
Disclaimer: Homo Boss will not be responsible for any deaths, disappearance, spiritual possessions, loss of sanity and limbs, destruction of furniture or vomit-stained draperies.

Cost: $987654321.123456789. We accept the following modes of payment:

1) Cash
2) MasterCard
3) Visa
4) Cheque (made payable to Homo Boss)
5) Hellnotes (please pay the correct amount)
6) Freaktopian Express Card
7) Others: please specify. (acceptance will be considered on case-by-case basis)
8) All of the above

Reported by: Duck Medium

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