Seething with hate? Or can’t wait to inflict great pain and sufferings on the Leech that sucked you drier than the Sahara Desert? Rejoice! For the Mutabak Voodoo Dolls is the latest toy to hit all major departmental stores near you and secluded mojo stalls hidden in the dark dingy alleys of Mutabak Kingdom.
The Voodoo Dolls will guarantee 100% effectiveness in your cursing endeavour as it uses the crust of vengeful executed Mutabaks which are marinated in the forbidden 100 Freak Essence made from the Essence of Duck Medium and SSW, liquefied Immortal Pills, expired Meng Mei True Samadhi Fire Congee and fresh Whiskie’s Connoisseur Cuisine, and then burnt to an unrecognisable crisp in the Holy Immortal’s Eight Trigrams Furnace™. The skin is then fashioned into a shape which vaguely resembles a human and unceremoniously stuffed with mouldy cotton wool and fermented green beans. And voila! ACNE International proudly presents the Voodoo Doll!
To enhance your arcane activity, ACNE International has decided to roll out a comprehensive voodoo set, which will cause you to grin so evilly that Freddie and Jason will have nightmares.
1. Voodoo Pins – these pins look like any other ordinary pins and will guarantee your safe passage through Sinkapula’s impossibly strict Customs. Larger version of the Voodoo Pin will serve as a hair pin and dress pin.
2. Voodoo Doll Guillotine Set – make your day with the Voodoo Doll Guillotine set and watch your intended victim lose his/her/its head. Literally! Comes with a packet of blood for added cinematic effect! Guillotine blade sharpener is sold separately.
3. Yellow Pages – this is not your ordinary Yellow Pages. In this book, the names, birthday and 8 Characters of everyone and anyone could be found in there (except for the Duck Medium’s, Urban Geek’s and Royal Mutabak Family). This is sure to facilitate your cursing and provide hours of fun and entertainment.
4. Voodoo for Dummies – running out of ideas on how to dispatch your victim? The Dummies book contains over 100,000 illustrations with 60,000 coloured photographs and provides an endless list of torture, killing and cursing rituals with step-by-step instructions.
5. Voodoo Installation CD – if you are so clumsy with pins that you might stab yourself instead or run a high risk of lighting yourself up during a ritual, then the Voodoo CD is just for you. Dear butterfingers and cyber-freaks, the Voodoo CD will allow you to curse and kill your victim in the electronic and savvy way. Plus, a laptop will enable you to curse and kill on the go!
Note: Voodoo Doll, pins and torture equipments are sold separately. Batteries not included.
Reported by: Duck Medium