Monday, February 22, 2010

New Shop Opening: Bras Pasar !!!

Bras Pasar - The Number 1 Bra Market
5 Heavenly Avenue
Freaktopia 333333

Where is the best place to buy bras? Nowhere else but Bras Pasar! Here we sell all kinds of bras, in all sizes, with all kinds of designs, and for all kinds of purposes, for all kinds of people! We have sizes from A- (even smaller than A cup, just a small piece of cloth the size of a bus ticket to cover the vital bits)) to Z (about the size of lorry tyres).

Product: Triumphant SuperPowerful-XXX Bra

Some women have concerns about excessive frontal agitation, especially when they are moving. Now we have the solution! We have designed heavy-duty bras that can withstand the weight of 3 pianos, made of synthetic ultra-enhanced rubber and 20cm-thick metal (stainless steel) underwires. These bras are especially catered for women who have undergone boob jobs 1000 times to put in 1000kg implants (1000kg boobs do not occur naturally). Women who wear these bras can be assured minimal anterior movements while they are running, jumping or engaging in other vigorous physical activities. Boobs will be secured very tight in place, almost as if casted in iron mould and unmoveable. Furthermore, we can customize these bras for you, depending on your size and weight.

Price: $1000 per kg of boob
Note: Customers are adviced not to fake their boob weight in order to get bigger bras and pretend to have big boobs, because wearing sizes unsuitable for you can cause you to get breast cancer.

Product: Bust-Ticket™ Bra

For women with virtually non-existent boobs, and with chests flatter than a piece of roti prata, we have designed the Bust-TicketBra to satisfy their psychological need to wear bras even though its entirely unnecessary. To save scarce resources, we have designed bras that use recycled bus tickets attached to old rubber bands, and paper clips to fasten it.

Price: $0.10
Note: Customers may choose to supply their own bus tickets, paper clips and rubber bands (where you can get to choose your own colours!) and we'll construct a bra for you at a small service charge of $999.

Product: Macho Bra

Now you may ask, why would a man need to wear bra?!!! But there are more and more men these days developing manboobs due to various reasons such as genetic mutations, artificial implants, and excessive bodybuilding at the gym. Fret not gentlemen with manboobs, we have a specially-designed bra for you! Guaranteed to provide maximum support, it can even double as a bullet proof shield! (protect boobs only, nowhere else) Made with clear plastic (man don't need to hide their bits right?), it provides some sort of invisible support so people wouldn't know you're wearing a bra. (but achieves this result poorly) The refraction from the transparent plastic casing can also make your manboobs appear smaller than they really are. Great for those self-conscious manboobs owners! The plastic cases are attached to fishing line-thin strings to be worn around your arms and back, ensuring as low conspicuousness as possible. Wearers are advised not to make too large physical movements to avoid mutilating themselves, given the incisiveness of the strings.

Price: $999.90
Note: Only MAN with manboobs allowed, not transexuals with fake implants.

Reported by: Urban Geek

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