Yesterday afternoon, the Duck Medium was on his way to Sim Lim Polygon when he saw the Insufferable Leech, a hellspawn created from the sinfully sinful TFM’s toilet, travelling on the same bus. The Leech, also known as Spafanie the Barren One, was observed to have lost incredible amounts of weight, but nevertheless, still retaining its trademark triple-chins.
“Of course it will retain its triple chins! If not, how are the inhabitants going to recognise that organism?” commented Princess Mutabak, who was corresponding with the Duck Medium via Spirit Mail from her royal bathroom.
But to make matters worse for the Duck Medium, he saw the Leech with Mother Leech, causing the Medium to come to the morbid decision of having to wash his eyes in a noxious mixture of holy water mixed with Dettol, including a toxic infusion of liquefied SSW Immortal Pill.
In a desperate attempt to contain the epidemic (that will inevitably arise as any ordinary living thing which comes into contact with The Leech will become infected and become a miniature, but nonetheless, as dangerous as the original), the Freaktopian Government declared a state quarantine of the infected inhabitants. If the quarantined people show signs of leech-transformation, they will immediately be exported to the TFM sect by DHL’s express post.
Both the Duck Medium and Princess Mutabak agreed that the weight loss of The Leech is most probably due to it being either unable to find anyone to sponge off or it has finally run out of money (obtained from selling its spawn to some unfortunate childless couple) to continue its diet of Four Leaves bread.
Immortal SSW expressed an interest in capturing The Leech and subjecting it to his most demented experiments, with the assistance of the Duck Medium, to obtain more valuable data on this sinful and detested organism.
As soon as the Ministry of Demented Experiments and Research (MODER) approve the study, the Royal Mutabak Kingdom is willing to fund the Immortal SSW’s research. Interested members of the public can view the experiment live at Mount Pra University, Dangerous Biological Experiments Block F, Basement 49. Entrance is free. Watch at the risk of your own sanity.
Kaneena Kana reporting from Mutabak-Bak, Mutabak Kingdom – Freaktopia