Monday, December 21, 2009

News Break - Where News Break Windows, Necks and Spines

Yesterday, after a press conference at the Shangila Hotel (Mutabak Kingdom), the envoy representing the Holy Royal Mutabak Kingdom, was found dead in the hotel’s kitchen. Burnt to an unrecognisable crisp, the Forensic Prataologists are called in to identify the victim by matching his fillings against those found in the Freaktopian and UEICN database.

“We suspect very foul play as the Royal Mutabak envoy was found to be fried in a pirated Tefal non-stick frying pan with Axe-brand medicated oil to induce extreme suffering during the cooking process,” said a police spokesperson at a press conference this morning in a conference closet at the Royal Mutabakian Police Complex.

The Princess of Mutabak, who suspected either the Al Thosai Organisation or the sinfully unappetising Dhal Kingdom was behind this merciless culinary act, declared a state of emergency and activated the kingdom’s entire military force to hunt down and decimate the perpetrator.

“If the gods in heaven have eyes, may they strike down the evil asshole with lightning and flood the Dhal Kingdom with ultra-spicy curry rain!” exclaimed the highly-emotional and hyperventilating Princess at her royal address to the citizens of Mutabak Kingdom last evening.

Reported by: Kani Nabei

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