Monday, November 29, 2010

Allopia Spy School Opens New Campus in Sinkapula

Freaktopia - The prestigious education and training institute for young elites and child prodigies, Allopia Spy School, is opening a new campus on the sunny island of Sinkapula. The new campus will be headed by Mr Dumbdoor, who has previously led the Hogwash School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to the top of the College Ranking List in the Freaktopian Financial Times for 99 years in a row.

"I am very excited to join the Allopia Spy School, which has consistently produced the best spies, assassins, secret agents and other intelligence and espionage experts who have contributed greatly to the peace and chaos of Freaktopia and the Other Realm." Said Mr Dumbdoor in a press conference. According to the Director of Allopia Spy School, Mr Dumbdoor will be appointed as the Principal under a 999 years contract. During which, he will be paid an annual salary of $7.7 billion and a monthly bonus of $1.50.

The degrees and some of the modules offered for each track are as follows:
1. Ninja track
- Ninja History and Culture
- Japanese language Level 1 - 20
- Nanchaku skills Level 1 - 10
- Kata skills Level 1 - 15
- Invisibility Skills Level 1 - 10
- Tree Climbing & Jumping Skills Level 1 - 15

2. Assassin track
- Weapons theory
- Weapons practical 1: Assembly and disassembly
- Weapons practical 2: Shooting Level 1 - 20
- Sneaking Skills Level 1 - 20
- Disguising Skills Level 1 - 10
- Martial Arts (choice of Shaolin/Wudang/Emei/Foshan Sect Skills)
- Language Skills (Choice of 30 out of 50 languages offered)
- 1 year practical skills training at the Assassins Camp on Mount Ro

3. Hackers track
- Computer theory
- Hacking Basic Theory
- Hacking Skills Level 1 - 100
- Programming Skills Level 1 - 50
- Basic Spying Skills Level 1 - 5

4. Double Agent track (Choice of Triad Route or Police Route)
- Undercover Theory
- Guest Lectures and practical skills workshops by ex-undercover agents
- Undercover Skills Level 1 - 20
- Gangster Behavior and Mannerism OR Police Behavior and Mannerism
- Advanced Spying Skills Level 1 - 20
- Acting Classes Level 1 - 20

5. Detective track
- Detective Work Theory
- Forensic Theory Level 1 - 10
- Forensic Practical Level 1 - 10
- Intermediate Weapons Skills Level 1 - 5
- Intermediate Spying Skills Level 1 - 10
- Advanced Snooping Skills Level 1 - 20
- 1 year Attachment at CIA or FBI

There will be a students recruitment roadshow held on Mount Pra (location sponsored by Holy Immortal SSW) on 1st January 2012 (assuming no apocalypse occurs). Registration fee is $100000 - Admission not guaranteed unless you bribe the Registration officer with $999999999 and 2 mandarin oranges.

Talent scouts will also hunt all around Freaktopia and the Other Realm for talented candidates who can then be admitted to the new Allopia Spy School campus for free.

Reported by: Urban Geek

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