Royal Urban University of Mutabak (Freaktopia) – Mutabak Kingdom’s top-ranking university, the Royal Urban University of Mutabak, might soon face intense academic and economic competition as the kingdom’s Ministry of Education decided (after several centuries of debate and procrastination) to remove the education sector’s barriers to entry, after being criticized by countless students (who failed to get a place) and parents, as a source of suicide, homicide, genocide and the cause of all sins, social ills and the ultimate destroyer of lives, future, families and dreams.
The decision to allow foreign universities from strange continents and alien lands to set up shop on the vast and expansive lands of Mutabak Kingdom is to explore and open up new sources of revenue for the empire, in other words; finding new, innovative and politically innocent ways to fleece unsuspecting citizens of their money. The Finance Ministry’s statement given to FreaksTimes claimed that the kingdom is in excellent financial health, although it said the additional national income could be used to invest in areas of research such as the improvement in immortality technology, betterment of spiritual infrastructure between Freaktopia and the Other Realm, and the making of curry missiles and other assorted spicy armaments to improve its national defense system.
Till date, only the Unknown University and Crampbridge University have successfully obtained the approval from the Ministry of Education via bribery and threats of culinary violence. Several applicants such as Harvest University, Woodbridge University and Imperial Fijian Institute of Cannibalism have submitted their applications together with enclosed bribes ranging from $7 to $999 trillion in cheque, cash or its equivalent.
At a press conference held at Allopia Spy School’s janitor’s closet, the Princess said: “with the influx of educational *cough* institutions from all over the place, we can all bear witness to more frantic students and kiasu parents trying to sabotage and do each other in, in the vain attempt of trying to graduate from school alive.” When asked on the expected mortality rate of students in Freaktopia, the Princess Mutabak sagely and coyly replied that more funeral directors are hired to handle the highly probable escalation in body count and homicide cases. Minister in the Princess’s Toilet advised parents to top up their offspring’s insurance and make necessary arrangements with the family coroner and funeral director should some lethal event misfortune befall on them.