Tuesday, July 20, 2010

News Flash! - A Series of Unfortunate Events

Freaktopia - The Divine Duck Medium was sent to the Intensive Care Unit at the FreakTockSeng Hospital after a freak accident which resulted in his Memory Leakage Disease. According to the incompetent Brain Specialist Dr. Pang Sai, the Duck Medium's memory was leaking at a shocking rate of 1000 metre cube per second, enough to fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool every minute.

A close acquaintance of the Duck Medium said that his memory leakage was probably caused by one of his divine rituals which went haywire. According to him, the accident happened when the Duck Medium was conducting a Rain Calling Ritual on top of Waffles Tower. He was chanting the Rainfall Incantation and swinging his wooden sword and throwing rice everywhere when he accidentally knocked over the bowl of rice with his inept sword-swinging. This incurred the wrath of the Rain God, resulting in the major floods and thunderstorm. The suay Duck Medium was thus struck by a lighting, causing his memories to leak.

Dr Pang and his team of useless brain surgeons are frantically finding ways to plug the rupture in his brain to stop the memory leakage, but it was believed that they would need at least 20 years to find a viable solution. At the moment, his memory leakage is causing a major pollution to the environment, where Freaktopian citizens are complaining of seeing apparitions of gruesome images of mastication and hallucinating morbid visions. Mindfreak Consultants have been called in to alleviate the situation. Mindfreak Consultants CEO Criss-cross Angel said gravely, "This is certainly one of the worst problems we have encountered. We need to mop up the leaked memories floating around in Freaktopia. This is a tricky situation. I just want this to be over and I want my life back."

Furthermore, as a result of this unfortunate incident, the Duck Medium Corporation stock prices plunged more than 700%. Investors are committing suicide left, right, centre, up, down and sideways. The War Street is certainly seeing one of the worst financial crisis in its history (the worst happened during the Mutabak vs Prata Wars in 99B.M.)

Meanwhile, the Reverend Duck Medium has been reduced to a vegetative state at the FreakTockSeng Hospital. The Veggiepura Minister has expressed interest to take him in as its new citizen. However, the Princess of Mutabak refused his offer because she still considers the Duck Medium as a valuable asset to Freaktopia. She has called for a grand operation to collect the leaked memories and transfer them back into his brain.

Will Duck Medium rise again? Only time will tell.

Reported by Urban Geek

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