Ever since the Gullwings Exploration Corporation uncovered Veggiepura and Fruitopia, Freaktopia hads experienced an alarming increase in trade, overwhelming consumption of plants as well as dramatic changes in emigration trends between the mortal and Other realm. Recently, the YRP (Yuna, Riku and Paine) exploration team chanced upon a rare, ancient and impossibly incomprehensible map when they were sifting through their Hombalaya Mountain of musty manuscripts, cluttered and cursed artefacts and stacks of coffins, sarcophaguses and freeze-dried mummies in a vain attempt to locate their ring of keys (inclusive of house, safe, bedroom, car and office ones). The map, according to archaeologists at the Royal Urban University of Mutabak, was believed to be from the Lava Age, approximately 987654321123456789 years ago. Expert cartographers from the Unknown University and professors from Allopia Spy School’s linguistics department were stumped by the language, or should the Freakstimes say, the myriad of unintelligible squiggles in the form of octopuses, sea serpents, fishes, crustaceans and other assorted unknown marine biology that will make the Holy Immortal SSW froth at the mouth with uncontrollable excitement.
“My best guess would be that the language could be the written form of Atlantish, the long lost tongue of the long lost Atlantis,” inferred Professor Crabs. “I concur with Professor Crabs because the chart was filled with flowing lines that could give anyone seasickness and pictograms are that of seafood, the staple diet of Atlantians,” agreed Dr. Lobster. He said in his book, Atlantis: the Fall and Decline of a Drowning Civilisation, that the civilisation was brought down due to a lethal combination of hepatitis, poorly planned sewage system and the lack of ritual sacrifices to placate the gods of the ocean and all things liquid. Several academics in the intellectual arena have stubbornly refused to believe in the existence of Atlantis as the Makansutra said Atlantis was ‘decimated by the vile sewage it churned out which incurred the divine wrath of the gods for the stench had reached the heavens’. The Makansutra is the holiest culinary book of Freaktopia which has the most accurate historical records of the multi-verse ever since freakkind’s creation of the first curry, and its empty pages are continuously being filled every nanosecond.
Desperate to get the ancient naval chart deciphered, the Gullwings Corporation offered a reward of fifty cents to anyone who is able to translate the meaningless symbols. Unfortunately, the sole person who was capable of performing the feat had abruptly passed away when his great grandson accidentally wrote his name on a Death Note he had recently procured from e-bay. The Duck Medium was roused from its coma* to perform a spiritual summoning of the old man to assist the YRP in making sense out of the prehistoric piece of paper. However, due to the Duck Medium’s adverse reaction to all things associated with seafood, it collapsed into a dead faint which even the Wing Chun Bitch Slaps could not revive the Medium. As the High Summoner Urban Geek is currently nowhere to be found in all three realms of existence, the deciphering of the map had to be put on hold until Freak Tock Seng Hospital’s department of Spiritual Medicine could figure out a suitable treatment that would not impede the Medium’s powers or brain.
Allopia Spy School, Royal Urban University of Mutabak and the Unknown University had authenticated the map as a bona fide and an extremely valuable artefact. The Princess of Mutabak Kingdom had placed the document inside the Infidelity Library which is protected by security systems and personnel which were provided by Goldilocks and even Goldilocks herself had no idea what they are. The Princess Mutabak had received news of evil relatives collaborating with Dr. Lala Cloth of Tomb Raiders Inc. to steal the map for their own evil perverted purposes. “I would like to see them try enter the Library. That damned place is so deadly that even I, the architect, am afraid of it,” said Princess Mutabak, who was visibly shaking in a corner of her 5000 hectare bedchamber.
*The Duck Medium was suffering from acute Leaky Memory Syndrome and had foolishly decided to seek treatment at the newly opened Kung Fu Massage Parlour without bothering to read the treatments’ side effects. It went for the Luo Han Fist and Golden Needles of Jade Bee package. The package had a ten-cent discount for first-time-and-last-time customers.