Asian vs Hollywood Horror

Here's an interesting read from MyPaper (12 November). Enjoy =)

PARANORMAL Activity, a chiller about a young American couple, Micah and Katie, being terrified by a supernatural presence in their home, is the phenomenal hit of the year.

But is the movie really that scary, especially for Asian audiences? Maybe, maybe not. The fear factor is very different for people in the East and in the West.

Here’s how: (click for larger view)

It's Friday the 13th!!

Skeleton Key to unlock the Goldilock

Due to the overwhelming success of Goldilocks’ security products, Dr Lala Cloth’s Tomb Raider International is facing a drastic, dramatic and disastrous fall in business as homes, banks and tombs remain impossible to raid. Having experienced a high employment turnover rate of 500% due to the workers being finished off by the Goldilocks systems, Tomb Raider International is nearly bankrupt from having to pay the bills for dry cleaning, state funerals, corpse disposal and permanent disability claims. Desperate, Dr Lala Cloth decided to collaborate with the notorious key-siao Prof. Kiki Key to produce a new range of gadgets that are completely incapable of opening a drawer cabinet.

The Skeleton Key

This skeleton key was designed to open any lock in the house. Chicken bones, fish bones, 5 packets of Milo powder and an expired tin of Anlene Hi-calcium milk powder are added in a secret and precise ratio to a molten alloy obtained from rusty keys and recycled drink cans. It is then fashioned into the shape of a skeleton and sent (by DHL) to the godforsaken TFM shrine, where it is cursed to bring extreme bad luck to any keyhole it is placed in. However, due to a mistake in the cursing, only anorexic or malnourished people are able to wield the deathly-thin skeleton key. Anyone else who uses the key will be haunted by a combination of The Stephanie and Whiskie until they are bankrupt or gone key-siao by the demonic duo’s never-ending whining and leeching.

Cost: $0.90 inclusive of 200% GST

Terms and conditions:
1. Customer must have either fallen victim to the TFM or Stephanie.

2. Customer must give 100% of the loot obtained to Tomb Raider International. If not, Dr Lala Cloth will personally empty your house and bank account. All additional charges and expenses are to be footed by the customer.

3. Tomb Raider International will not be responsible for any loss of life, limb or sanity due to the side effects of the product (have side effects, but purposely omitted) or activation of any Goldilocks’ security systems.

4. 100% failure guarantee. Use at your own risk.

Reported by Duck Medium

News Break - where news break cups, plates, furniture, and skulls

Freaktopia - Due to the sudden flash flood that appeared like a flash in the pan, the royal Murtabak Palace is facing an architectural crisis. The torrential rain has caused the crispy walls of the palace to become dangerously soggy and several roofs have caved into the palace, reducing 13 royal servants into thosai flatness. The Princess of Murtabak has declared a state of emergency. The Murtabak government advises the citizens to stay indoors and keep themselves crispy by jumping into boiling hot oil if they are turned soggy by the rain.

Reported by: Kaypoberry

Duck Medium Exotic Cuisine World Tour

The Bubble Tea

Cost:
Large - $10
Medium - $20
Small - $30

A new and mysterious drink of Auntie Poopie. A box of Fab washing powder is added to a teacupful of soapy dishwater. Together with a combination of Blue Mountain essence (obtained when Mount Pra is raining), essence of Bubbles (Bubble's puke) and melted bubblegum blended nicely with a handful of Panadol tablets, the Bubble Tea is one drink that will let you froth deliriously at the mouth until you are blue in the face.

Reported by: Duck Medium

Duck Medium Cuisine Top Picks

Century Egg Congee

Price: $90 per bowl

The century egg congee is made from 100-year-old eggs that are kept to rotten perfection in the spoilt refrigerator of Meng Mei's congee shop. A revolutionary mixture of mouldy rice, leftover porridge from last year and rice weevils are cooked to an indistinguishable grey mess. The century egg is then added to the congealing mixture with generous slices of old melon and a dash of mothball sauce to bring out the wondrous smell of old people. Grab a bowl now and age like there is no tomorrow!

Reported by: Duck Medium

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!