Wednesday, June 19, 2013

COMPILED CRITTERS CUISINE MENU



Presented by Critter Connoisseur Whiskie
Address: backyard of Mutabak Palace
Opening Hours: All The Time

MENU
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Fish and Cold
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Deep sea monster fishes are freshly caught from the deep depths royal pond of the Mutabak Palace, some 8000ft below the surface. The fresh seafood is then beheaded and then fried in ice and powdered charcoal. Liquid nitrogen sauce is then poured on the dish for extra flavoring, served together the fish’s frostbitten head. If not you can freeze the fish to death and drain it of blood, then eat it raw with ice kachang shavings and frozen brine and fishbone soup

Customers can choose to rent a leaking sampan or rotten drifting plank to go out to the pond to fish for their own deep sea monster seafood. All customers are to take precautions not to irritate the giant tentacled inhabitants, or risk both life, limbs, capital punishments and torture treatments.

Cost—depending on what species of seafood you catch, the weight of the seafood and the preparation methods required.

Fishy De-lights
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Fresh hot water fishes caught from the Dip Sea are knocked unconscious with a sledgehammer then steamed for 8 hours. They are then fried in motor oil and then soaked in sweet and spicy larvae sauce to get rid of the fishy essence. The dish is then completed by a generous topping of crushed glass light bulbs and Malazian Neon Soup. Another alternative is that the dish can be prepared by stewing it in Whiskie’s special Tandoori and Masala molten glass and then baking it in 7000°c neon gas for a royal sensation.

Customers can choose other forms of seafood besides fishes. There are squid, prawn, cuttlefish and shellfishes. Our seafood also comes in many sizes such as huge, gigantic, titanic, small, medium and microscopic. Prices vary according to the number of organisms caught and their weight.

Seafood Salad
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Rotten fish, prawn, crab, calm, sotong, squid, octopus, cuttlefish and other deceased and decomposing marine wildlife are all dumped into a mega large porcelain bowl. They are then allowed to further decompose by adding houseflies, maggots and ants to create an out-of-this-world rancid taste. Wilted lettuces, cabbages and seaweed are thrown into the mixture together with the seafood and insects, with date-expired plankton salad sauce and blended seafood brains.

Or else customers can request for blended seafood organs, which consist of all the organs of every seafood placed in a blending machine, for extra nutrients. Puffer fish soy sauce or concentrated brine gravy is available if customers find the food a little too bland.

Cost--$23.45

Ocean Pie
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A popular dish which the fillings are constructed from the ant and maggot eaten shark carcass and crab shell. The main ingredients are stir-fried with Thai sour and sour sauce, dead corals and sewer algae. The crust of the pie is personally kneaded by the Critter Connoisseur itself, which is made form a mixture of mouldy flour, swamp mud,drain water, moss, rotten eggs and fungi. The pie is then finished by baking it until it turns black and topped with worm-eaten cherry. A Maureen Saw will be provided for customers to penetrate the crust.

Cost--$4.50

Income Tax Omelette
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A delicacy amongst the inhabitants of Freaktopia. A grand mixture of smashed and decayed chicken, duck, ostrich, penguin and do-do bird eggs and eggshells, fried in medical and lubricative oils to produce a greasy and healthy heart-attack sensation. Shredded income tax bills are added to the omelette, together with diluted xian dan gravy and molten hair wax sauce.

Cost-----------large:$6.50..................extra large:$13.00..............very large:$9.50

Toilet Random
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Spiders, cockroaches, lizards and other critters found in bathrooms are marinated in tree bark, tree root and tree leaf sauce for 49 hours. They are then fried in olive hair oil with a light dashing of baby powder fro extra flavoring and seasoning

Cost--$5.54

Sinful Random
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True to its name, this dish is made up of the most sinful living organisms ever know to the Duck Medium. Goldfish, Silverfish and Stonefish are fishnapped and secretly brought to Critters Connoisseur, where it will prepare the dish using the Maureen Saw ver. Piranha. The fishes are then stewed in bitter drain sauce and sour toilet sauce. This complicated dish then have hair spray, Baygon, Mortein and deoderant added to it for fragrance and taste enhancement, with greasy Kai Chuan Special Gravy for texture and colour.

Cost--$888.88

Sewers Smoothie
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mainly made of iced sewer waters, mixed with a little toilet water and rain water for a refreshing effect. The mixture is then added to sewer slime, rat and cockroach and then blended together to create a thick greenish-brown stuff with the attractive stench of the sewers. pay extra $0.50 to top your smoothie with Madame Butterfly's buttered flies.Plain Smoothie will only have iced sewer water, toilet water, rain water and drain water without any extra ingredients. (for vegetarians and monks)
small--$1.90 medium--$2.60 large--$3.50

Nezumi Tiramisu --$6.50
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Hamsters, rats, guinea pig and squirrels are nicely beheaded and blended together with plenty of diabetic sugar, sugar cane and rock sugar. The other ingredients are fermented flour, fungus, algae and slime are specially prepared with a secret receipe then baked to a slimy jelliness and left to cool and decompose futhur to bring out the taste. After which the blended rodent mixture is applied and the whole product is kept in liquid nitrogen to keep houseflies and other pest away and to maintain the product's freshness.

Yummy Olde' Field --$8.30
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Serpents and rats freshly caught by the Critter Connoisseur itself to ensure high quality of the product. They are then diced and stir fried with nightshade and venus flytrap in date expired soya sauce and rotten oyster sauce. The dish is then completed with a dash of roasted piranha brains and thick BBQed Ticks n Lice sauce.

Milistone Soup --$54.20
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Millipedes and centipedes which are freshly imported from Allopia and Bala Stella, are finely chopped to even pieces and are soaked in drain water overnight to absorb its essence. They are then stewed in sewer and rain water broth , which was secretly concocted by the Critter itself in the dead of the night to prevent its secret from leaking out, together with 8 types of critters and 5 kind of plants and 3 type of spices. This mysterious soup have a clear sick-green colour with tasty chunks of flies, wilted plants and bloated pieces of mili n centipede. YUM!

Buddha Crash into the Wall--$346.98
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A popular dish amongst the people of Freaktopia who are celebrating New Year. This expensive dish is make from the best and freshest ingredients money cannot buy. The Mangosteen Buddhas, in the Mutabak Palace Garden are harvested once a year, are flung onto walls to pulverise them. The crushed fruits are then feed to the houseflies and maggots to speed up the decomposition rate and also to obtain the delicious saliva of housefly and maggots. The rotten fruits, together with cockroaches, houseflies, maggots, rodents, snakes, termites and lizards are stewed in bird flu infected crow's blood, panadol, laxatives and cough syrup.

Major Creepo Jumbo Set-$19.90

consists of:

Housefly Submarine
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made with the mouldiest bread and stuffed with squirming maggots and rotten fungi, together with stewed houseflies in toad liver and castor oil.

coka koala
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the most popular drink in Mutabak Kingdom. made from freshly pulverised koala bears.
( for more refreshing sensation : coka koala light is also available[blended koala foetus])

Battered French Flies
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long juicy spanish flies are drowned in butter then fried to a delightful coal black colour. best eaten with barbequed wasp sauce.

Whiskie Salad
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made with rotten fungus and decomposing lettuces, different assorted crawlies are added at random to create a mysterious flavour. the dish is then completed with loads of date expired salad sauce and Essence of Whiskie .(comes only in large, very large and cannot-finish size) customers can request their own crawlies to be added to the salad.you name the bug, we have the bug.

Imperial Special Value Meal -$15.98

consist of:

Worm Goreng
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long, juicy and succluent earthworms freshly unearthed from the gallows in the backyard of the Mutabak Palace. marinated in amphibian excrements and Mutabak thai chilli, then fried in hot crude oil. customers are recommended to use pitch forks as worms maye as short as 10m. come in large-spicy, super -large-super- spicy and cannot-finish -unconsummable spiciness.

Deep-fried Bat Wings
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bats, caught from the Bata Cave in Malazia , have their wing ripped out then marinated in the Ants n Roach BBQ sauce.the wings are fried to a light golden brown
for extra flavouring please request a spray of Baygon(1 spray $5.00)
Drunken Flying Crawlies
butterflies, bees, hornets and any insects that flies are stuffed into a barrel full of 1300 Whiskie, until they are drunk and drowned.they are then dumped into hot lice oil and deep fry

Popular Dishes

Tandoori Tarantula- $1500 for 3
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tarantulas caught in the basement of Sin Wei Corp are fed with the Immortal Pill for 3 days and then fried with lice oil and date expired tandoori sauce

Fillet O Bug
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a fillet made from the juciest ants, cockroach and houseflies, sanwiched between two slice of stale Chun Mee bun , together with sour cheese and bitter cream
OFFER now only $0.18usual $2.90

Triple Whisk-spicy
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this bugger is made up of maggot fillet, Fillet o Bug and H bug fillet. additional ingredients: wilted tomatoes,
rotten lettuce, Ant n Roach Sauce or Chun Mee stale bun

OFFER now only $3.50usual $3.60

note: H bug fillet is a secret recipe handed down by Whiskie's ancestors.
ingredients: fleas, ticks, tapeworms,ants,dung beetle,houseflies and cockroach

Exotic Rojak
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Local delicacy with an exotic twist!A rojak of ants, beetles, cockroaches mixed in sweet black sauce and peppered with roasted butterfly eggs

cost: $6.90

Caterpilla ice-cream boat
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Hmm...a long, thick and fat caterpilla harvested from the Royal Gardens of Murtabak Palace, topped with 3 scoops of ice-cream each of different flavours: bug chip cookies flavour, cockroach flavour, dung flavour

cost: $7.60

Chicken Lice
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Another local delicacy, with lice substituted for rice! Delicious steamed chicken breast meat and lice cooked with chicken flavour!

$10.90

Bloody Maria
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An exquisite concoction of blood squeezed from mosquitoes which cause malaria. Served with a slice of lemon for a tangy twist!

$12

Dumpling
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Steamed silkworm which are still encased in their cocoon. Served with traditional chili sauce created by ancestors of Princess of Murtabak.

cost: $8 for 5 dumplings

Lizard Burger
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Juicy and succulent kampung lizards which are caught from bathrooms and toilets of Fullertome Hotel, and steamed with platinum water to give a tender and elastic texture. Served with rotten lettuce and soured pickles and mouldy french cheese, tucked between 2 lightly buttered buns

Cost : $6.90

Maggots in sweet and sour sauce
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Fat and juicy maggots freshly harvested from bandages obtained from Everest Summit hospital,and marinated in Whiskie's secret-recipe special sauce for 7 days and 7 nights and then grilled to perfection.Served with lettuce infested with raw baby maggots and whiskie's specially created sweet and sour sauce.

Cost: $10.90

Tropical Critter Salad
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A delightful potpourri of critters of various tropical species in a unique dressing of earthworm juice and sweet aphid sap.

Cost : $8.90

Milipede/Centipede Sandwich
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Hand-shelled milipedes/centipedes roasted to delicious golden brown perfection and tucked in a long bread. Served with either mustard or ketchup

Cost : $3.50

Cockroach Cake
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Cockroach Flavoured cake decorated with cockroach legs and feelers at the top. Topped with stale cream and dung-beetle flavoured icing

Cost : large size: $30medium : $20small : $10slice : $3.60

Bug chip cookies
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Famous Whisky Bug chip cookies is back by popular demand! Crispy and deliciously sweet, containing generous amounts of tiny bugs

Cost : $3.90 per 100g-

Earthworm Ramen
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First in the world! Thick and long noodles of earthworms swimming in sze chuan sweet and sour soup that's bound to tickle your taste buds (literally).Hmm...yummy!!

Cost : $7.90

Spider kebab
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Fleshy and succulent tarantulas and tanutamas and radioactive spiders impaled on a stick and marinated in BBQ sauce and grilled. Served with side dish of termite salad

Cost : $2.90 per stick

Butterfly pudding
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Fresh and creamy milk pudding with a base of butterfly legs and feelers, topped with beautiful butterfly wings and a red cherry

Cost : $5.90

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